Norton United 2-1 Cheadle Town

Stood in the Burger King queue at Knutsford Services, a complete stranger - obviously as fed up as me waiting for his order and looking for somebody to talk to - turned to me and asked:
"How far south are you going, mate?" "Errr, Stoke" "M6 southbound closed, mate...round about the Stoke area and all, come to mention it..."
From thereon, yet another abnormal day in the company of Norton United FC was about to unfold.

During our hour spent going through the motoring equivalent of walking through treacle on the M6, Polardin and I weighed up the possibilities: would the team also be turning up late? Would that give Norton's over-officious colonel good reason to have us fined, call the match off and have the three points awarded to them? Would common sense somehow prevail and we'd end up with a 3.30pm kick-off? More to the point, what bloody time would we be getting there?

As the motorway re-opened and with it the chance of making it to the match on-time re-surfaced, I foolishly said "hey, it could be our day now..."

For 86 minutes of this match, I was right. For 86 minutes Cheadle Town seemingly had this match in the palm of their hands and were in control. For 86 minutes we looked like achieving only our second away win all season, a win that would satisfy in more ways than one.

Cheadle were a goal up at half-tim e due to a bit of spectacular improvisation from Johnny Hussain on 20 minutes. From 30 yards out he gathered the ball and sent a well-measured chip soaring over the Norton 'keeper's head and into the net.

What makes this defeat sore is the fact that Cheadle should have wrapped this game up during the second half. An industrious spell on the hour mark saw Mike Myers blaze a header wide from a delicious Arron Riley cross, Brad Fellows narrowly shoot over and various half-decent opportunities to score squandered.

But it was still to be our day, remember, especially after Steve Moores somehow stopped a certain Norton goal from point-blank range and did well to claw away the ball from the feet of two Norton strikers after a goalmouth scramble.

As that 86th minute ticked over Cheadle's day, inexplicably, fell apart. A Norton forward latched onto a through ball, rounded Moores and tucked home for the equaliser. Willing to "take the draw", we willed the referee's whistle to sound. It didn't come quick enough to stop Norton snatching a victory from the jaws of defeat with virtually the last action of the match: a left-wing cross headed home.

You know me by now, I'll always say when we have been beaten by the better side; today we weren't...and even the referee's assessor who was at the match agreed that we were the better side and deserved to win, so if you think I'm taking defeat in a bitter manner, you can sod right off.

Matches like this put you off football. It was a very quiet car on the way home as it was the lowest that Polardin and I have felt in our two years following Cheadle.

We don't like Norton United (and I'm sure the feeling's mutual). Not because they beat us - christ, they're hardly unique where that's concerned - but because every time we play them we have an arse of a time and the matches - both home and away, win or lose - are nothing but unhappy experiences as a whole. But until either of us somehow gets promoted from this division, we're stuck with each other.

More's the pity.

Photos from the day can be seen by clicking here

TEAM: Moores, Clarke, B Roberts, Cotterill, A Roberts, Logan, Riley, Hussain, Myers (Brokenbrow), Fellows, Lindon. Subs: Brokenbrow, Hall.

Saturday's Opponents: Norton bloody United

Match report won't be on until SUNDAY EVENING

Between the hours of 0001 and 2359 on Saturday 22nd March 2008, nothing would give me more pleasure than to get a league 'double' over this lot.

Ever since our midweek match a couple of weeks ago where the line of common sense was transgressed in a ridiculous manner following the events surrounding a double-sending off, the slightly goose-bumpy feelings I had about Norton United anyway have since evolved into something a bit more benevolent. Nothing against their players or the club itself; it's certain insufferable elements of their official staff that really get my goat.

Polardin being Polardin he just laughs the whole thing off and shakes his head; as for me, I don't operate like that. I love to grind a good axe.

As for the match itself, boy oh boy do the Cheadle players need a fillip after Tuesday night. I'm just hoping that they can put Oldham behind them and get one (and a league 'double') over this lot. How ironic that Carl Buchanan won't get his opportunity for revenge due to his Norton-induced ban starting this weekend. Funny ol' game, football....

Come on Cheadle!

Last season: Norton United 2-2 Cheadle Town

Cheadle Town 1-0 Norton United

A Scott Flanagan strike 13 minutes from time was enough to give Cheadle this much-needed - and much-deserved - victory over Norton United.

What a shame, though, that this high-energy match was marred by both teams being reduced to ten men towards the end of the first-half; in living proof that there's never a dull moment watching Cheadle Town, the whole story relating to the incident almost deserves a blog post of its own.

Carl Buchanan was felled by a Norton elbow, retaliating on his return to his feet with a push/slap (witness accounts differ on that matter). Whilst the stricken Norton player was being seen to, referee and linesman had both come to the conclusion that both players should see red. That should have been it but there was then some unnecessary nonsense from Norton's more highly-strung staff which culminated in the faintly laughable action of a phone call to Greater Manchester Police to deal with Carl Buchanan's "assault". It must have been a quiet night in SK8 because two officers actually turned up as the final whistle went!

Anyhow, the match. Cheadle started it as if their boots were on fire as they forced corner upon corner during the first ten minutes or so. It took 20 minutes for Norton to register their first meaningful threat on goal; Ben Roberts clearing a driven cross off the line.

As the more clear-cut chances that Cheadle were creating went begging over the course of the match, the more frustrating it was to watch. Mike Myers was put through after 26 minutes only to see his shot blocked by the 'keeper's legs and Brocky had a 30-yard crack excellently tipped over the bar.

Half-time came at the right time given it was on the back of the sendings-off but it didn't prove to be a roadblock of Cheadle's pressure as the chances kept coming in the second half. On the hour mark a corner came out to Ben Roberts who sent a vicious daisy-cutter which the 'keeper could only spill into the path of debut boy Tom Seaton; his shot was then parried into the path of Arron Riley who sent the final shot just wide of the post. Five minutes later the other newcomer, Phil Corley, almost had his moment of glory: his shot from an Arron Riley cross was blocked by the 'keeper.

It was Mr Corley's replacement who would bag the winner for Cheadle in the end. Brocky's cross was handled by a Norton defender and whilst everything seemed to stop in anticipation of a referee's whistle, Scott 'The Wasp' Flanagan latched onto the loose ball and turned it into the net.

Cheadle were as equally excellent tonight as they were ineffective last Saturday, and that was with a team that contained a few new faces: well done Mssrs Tom Seaton (a signing from Stockport Georgians) and Phil Corley (a recruit from our 2nd XI) for their contribution to tonight's victory.

Tonight's photos (not many, I'm afraid) can be seen by clicking here

TEAM: Moores, Clarke, B Roberts, Logan, Smith, Brocklehurst, Corley (Flanagan), Seaton, Myers (Brokenbrow), Riley, Buchanan. Subs: Brokenbrow, Flanagan, Cotterill, MacDonald

Wednesday's Opponents: Norton United

No time for crying over the spilt milk of Eccleshall on Saturday as their Staffordshire counterparts Norton United come to Park Road.

We haven't played them yet this term which is probably a good thing as they made a decent start to the season and found themselves in the top five for a long stretch. They have, however, faded away a bit which means we find them in 10th position as we go into this match.

Not that they will complain. They struggled last season and finished second-from-bottom, but that didn't stop them knocking us out of the League Challenge Trophy and holding us to two draws in the league matches!

We should have a few of our core players back for this, which is a good job as we could really do with a win to get us out of this rut. Yes, we had that winless streak of 11 matches last season but at least we were getting draws and thus picking up the odd point here and there. Straight defeats - of which we have had four - always seems worse.

Come on Cheadle!

The Pole & Polardin On The Road!

Another video for you.

It's one of life's greatest unanswered questions: "what is it like for the Pole & Polardin when they go on the road following Cheadle Town FC?". Great readers and regulars of this website, I present to you the answer in video format. The footage was taken during the away day to Norton United a couple of weeks ago.

Granted it's probably not that exciting for 99.9% of you and it'll hardly be knocking on the doors of the Oscars, but hopefully it captures the essence of what following a NWCFL2 team away from home is like. Apologies for not getting any footage of the match itself as the battery died on me; said hopeless battery has now been given its P45 and superceded by a much fitter model that should last longer if I decide to do this sort of thing again.

Enjoy, if you can. Warning: don't be showing this to the kiddies - there's some bad language (mainly from me). Sorry.

Norton United 2-2 Cheadle Town

Cheadle recovered from the earliest of setbacks and a two-goal deficit to claim a point in a boisterous game at Community Drive.

When we arrived at the ground, we got the feeling that the overriding theme of the day was "lateness". The Cheadle Town squad were late, England's cricket world cup match started late because of weather and the turnstile-keeper at Community Drive was late; we couldn't get into the ground for quite a while!

There was always the risk that Cheadle's "late" arrival at 2.30pm would mean that the team weren't quite in the right frame of mind for the start of the match. Jesus H Christ, how that proved right for the first twenty minutes of the match as Cheadle gave their hosts a two-goal start.

Not for the first time this week Cheadle conceded a goal in the first five minutes. This time, it was after six seconds; yes, you read it right, six seconds. Neil Logan completely missed a clearing header and then, in an attempt to put his mistake right, ended up heading the ball way wide of 'keeper Danny Smith's reach. The ball was chased down by a Norton winger and crossed into the path of a striker who had an empty net gaping. As it turned out the ball had crossed the line and should have been a corner, but we couldn't really see that from where we were stood.

Norton were having the better of the opening exchanges and could have gone two-up after 15 minutes when a chance flew just wide of the post. They did go two-nil up five minutes later when a penalty was awarded after a Neil Logan foul. Danny Smith's excellent penalty save was rendered ineffective as the rebound was blasted in.

After that - and it's said without bias - Cheadle had the lion's share of the possession, something that would ultimately result in their return back into the match. On 24 minutes Christian Powell was put through but just couldn't get to the ball quick enough. On 38 minutes a shot (we forget by who) flashed just wide of the upright. Christian had another half-chance for Cheadle on the half-time mark, but he just couldn't dig the ball out after receiving a cross from Arron Riley. Half-time, 2-0 to Norton...but if Cheadle could just get a goal, they would be right back in it...

On 50 minutes, that moment came. Arron Riley tore down the right and flew a delicious cross into Deano who slid home. There was a sense that Norton were now panicking a bit. Polardin, myself and the Cheadle bench sensed a result.

Norton passed on the chance to prove us all wrong with a quarter of an hour to go. One of their strikers was put clean through but Danny Smith made an excellent save with his legs to deny him. Four minutes later, that was to prove crucial.

Whilst we were having our ears bent by the Norton secretary about how Deano shouldn't have been on the pitch (perhaps he shouldn't, but we saw nothing of the alleged incident from where we were stood), the ultimate in ironies occurred and Deano nodded in a terrific looping header for Cheadle's richly-deserved equaliser!!

If this match would have gone on for another ten minutes, Cheadle might have snatched a 3-2 victory. But, given the nature of Cheadle's start to the match, we went home quite happy with the draw.

I also went home minus my Cheadle Town badge. A Norton fan had spotted it on my hat and pestered me to sell it to him. Seeing as how it was the only badge he was missing from his NWCFL collection, I did my annual "good samaritan" bit and gave in, agreeing a £3 price. He gave me a pound there and then and said he'd find me later with the other two. He didn't find me, I found him, and when I did, only another pound was placed into my hand. Not wanting to argue the toss over a lousy quid because I'm not a tight-arse, I said nothing....but if you're reading this, Norton fan with my badge, don't think you got away with "conning" me out of a quid!! I'm not as gullible as I look.

I managed to get quite a bit of footage with my camcorder, but the battery gave up just as the match started! I'll edit what I've got and hopefully come up with something that's vaguely interesting. Watch this space....

TEAM: Smith, McDonagh (Brokenbrow), B Roberts, Logan, A Roberts, Lindon, Riley, McFadden, Hussain (Stewart), Martin, Powell (Carpenter). Subs: Brokenbrow, Carpenter, Stewart

Tomorrow's Opponents: Norton United

Cheadle travel down to Smallthorne in Stoke-on-Trent tomorrow as they aim for their first back-to-back league wins this season.

Despite their lowly position in the league - they've rarely been out of the bottom three all season and are bottom as we speak - Norton United have been a right pain in the arse for Cheadle this season. Back in October, they knocked us out of the League Challenge Trophy by winning 2-0 at Park Road and then a fortnight later held us to a frustrating 0-0 draw. So we owe them one.

However, the three wins that they have managed to garner this season have all come on their own patch (against Chadderton, Ashton Athletic and Darwen), so there's no room for Mr and Mrs Complacency at Cheadle's dinner table tomorrow.

The away match at Norton United is the first part of a "Sports Day" that Polardin and I are having tomorrow. The Cheadle match will be followed by watching Israel v England and then England's final match in the Cricket World Cup.

I'm also going to take a camcorder to Norton United with the hope of documenting our day: the journey down, the people we meet, the match etc etc. A sort of documentary on what it's like to follow Cheadle Town away from home! You'll be able to view the finished, edited product on here at some point....

Come on Cheadle!

Cheadle Town 0-0 Norton United

Cheadle's winless streak continued in a 0-0 stalemate at Park Road today. This wasn't the worst game I'd ever seen, but it certainly wasn't the best either. In a game where "something had to give", nothing gave in the end.

Cheadle started nervously allowing Norton to enjoy more than the lion's share of possession. As the first half wore on, Cheadle forced themselves into the game a bit more but had nothing more than a few deliciously whipped-in crosses from set-pieces to their name. Half-time, 0-0.

The second-half was a little bit more entertaining. The entrance of Cheadle substitute Adie James on 55 minutes almost had an instant impact as he was put through on goal; his resulting shot sailing over the bar as he was put under pressure by two Norton defenders. The match opened out a little bit more: Norton forced a few openings, notably a point-blank save from Mellor towards the last quarter of the match; Cheadle had a handful of forays towards the Norton net, but they let themselves down at times with the wrong choice of pass.

And that's just about it for this match. We're still unbeaten whenever somebody else has joined us for the match; today it was Polardin's dad and Ian "Sweeney Todd". They're coming with us to Castleton on Tuesday. After watching today's match, they're both dafter than I thought....

Team: Mellor, Heath, B Roberts, McDonagh, A Roberts, Brocklehurst, Riley, Hussain, R Martin (James) (Flanagan), D Martin, Lindon. Subs: Stewart, Flanagan, James

Photos: the usual handful of pics. Start here and then work your way through them by using the boxes underneath where it says 'Nine Below Zero's Photostream' on the right-hand side of the screen. You'll suss it out.

Don't forget folks, the clocks go back an hour tonight!

Tomorrow's Opponents: Norton United

It's a case of deja vu for Cheadle Town tomorrow as they face Norton United for the second time in the space of three weeks. I did my usual short article on the opponents back then, so if you want to read it, then click here.

Norton United are still winless in the league this season, and Cheadle Town haven't won in all competitions since the 26th August. Something has to give. However, as Cheadle found out a couple of weeks ago, Norton United are no mugs as they ran out 2-0 winners at Park Road in the League Challenge Trophy.

Every time we've brought a guest to the Cheadle games, they haven't lost. Tomorrow's good luck charm will be Polardin's dad who is a Tees-sider and is up for the weekend, taking in the City v Middlesbrough match on Monday night at Eastlands and also the Castleton away trip on Halloween. Welcome to our world, Don....

Come on Cheadle!

Cheadle Town 0-2 Norton United

A Dog Day Afternoon
Another sunny day brought high expectations of a return to winning form.Four games without a goal. Something must change. Within 5 minutes Heathy hit a wonderful shot from miles out knowing the sun was hindering the opponent keeper's vision, a great effort hitting the bar. But early optimism dissappeared behind a cloud. Other than a speculative effort testing their keeper, there was little other action in the first half. Perhaps the sight of our Peter Mellor air-kicking a backpass Robinson-style was the incident of most note, fortunately the angle on the pass meant a corner was conceded and not a goal. As early as half time the game looked like a 0-0 and even with the prospect of extra time we were already planning for the midweek replay trip.

If the first half was depressing the second soon got worse. Norton took control of most of the possession and all the action was around our goal. Several corners were conceded with Peter Mellor heavily engaged in action. Two weak appeals for handballs in their penalty area were all we seemed to be able to muster, with "arguably the best central defender in the league" Barry Cotterill having already left the pitch with a groin strain (that may mean he misses the next two games)

Resources seem thin on the ground for us right now. Two substitutions from Trevor did instil some urgency and pace into the team (AJ & a new signing Kevin Lee). However Norton were soon 2-0 up, both well taken goals from either of their strikers; one ironically called Deano...unfortunately the wrong one. The other a well taken shot.

Trevor made one more throw of the dice bringing on Housey. It seemed to be a message to make more effort and he certainly rallied a little passion. With the sun sinking and the game lost, there was just time for a little "handbags" right at the end. It was all smiles and handshakes I am glad to report on the final whistle. Good luck Norton - I hope you go on to win the cup.

We shall have to continue to play ourselves out of this bad period of form. I took our dog Maggie along today in the hope of bringing us some luck. Not sure I shall bring her again. Still it was a far better spectacle than Croatia v England.

Our first goal for 6 games will come this Wednesday. You just wait and see.

Tomorrow's Opponents: Norton United

The word that probably best describes Norton United is "newcomers".

They were formed only as recently as 1989, spending their formative years in the Staffordshire Senior League where they managed to pick up a handful of trophies e.g the Staffordshire FA Senior Vase. They were promoted to the NWCFL in 2001 and have been camped in Div 2 ever since. They have finished in the top-half of the table in the past two seasons.

However, that looks an extremely distant possibility for this term. At the end of last season, the club took the decision not to pay players, which has understandably led to a massive change in playing staff. That decision has become manifest in Norton's league results as they are winless and lie bottom of Division Two with only one point to their name.

However don't forget that this is a cup match tomorrow and, as we know, anything can happen. Cheadle are on an atrocious run of form at the moment and could do with a victory, even if it's a scrappy 1-0 win where the ball goes in the net off Deano's backside. Or perhaps a back-pass that bobbles over the 'keeper's foot and trickles into the net...in the 8th minute of injury time. Anything will do us at the moment.

I won't be at this one, but Polardin will be there to take up the reins to cheer the Cheadle on...and to (hopefully remember) to text me the action as it happens. Come on Cheadle!