Oldham Town 7-0 Cheadle Town

I knew it would be difficult but good God, not this difficult....

Not that I'm begrudging Oldham Town the victory; far from it. With the best respect to the other teams in Div 2 that have beaten us this season, Oldham Town are the best outfit that we have played this term. They're direct, quick as ferrets on the break and lethal with it.

Within the first 16 minutes of this match Cheadle were down-and-out and three goals behind. With just five minutes gone, James Curley seized on a ricochet, bore down on goal and slipped the ball under Moores. 12 minutes saw Pheby blast home from the edge of the box with Curley getting his second of the match from the penalty spot on the 16 minute mark.

Then the merciless battering stopped. The final result would ultimately prove us wrong, but for the remainder of the first half we were wishing that the match had kicked off at 8.05pm as Cheadle started to do alright. We finally got our mark on the proverbial goalscoring chances sheet on 37 minutes, but the Oldham 'keeper was brilliantly equal to Brad Fellows' power header....

...and to his free-kick that was heading for the top-corner in the 50th minute. If only the Oldham 'keeper was a bit rubbish, Cheadle would have been only 2-3 down at that point and with a decent foothold in the game but football, like life, is full of "if onlys".

If only Darren Scanlon wouldn't have turned home from inside the box on 61 minutes. If only Stuart McGill wouldn't have cracked home from the edge of the box just eight minutes later. If only Curley wouldn't have latched onto a through ball on 77 minutes and slotted home for his hat-trick. If only McGill wouldn't have rolled home with five minutes of the game remaining...then this could have turned out so, so different for Cheadle(!)

Hilarious, aren't I? Well, if I wasn't a bit light-hearted after a 0-7 thrippling then you'd have every right to enrol me at the Heather Mills School of Sheer Lunacy. You may beat us by a cricket score, but you'll never beat our spirit (can you hear the inspirational music?) for we are Cheadle Town FC and we shall march on with venturesome abandon this Saturday.

Norton. You are next. And you're gonna get it. Good style.

TEAM: Moores, Clarke, B Roberts (Brokenbrow), Cotterill, Logan, Fellows, Riley, Hussain, Myers, Seaton, Buchanan. Subs: Brokenbrow, Bennett.